IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG IT WILL.
NOTHING IS AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.
EVERYTHING TAKES LONGER THAN YOU EXPECT.
IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG IT WILL.
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.
ASSUMPTION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL SCREW-UPS.
IF THERE IS A POSSIBILITY OF SEVERAL THINGS GOING WRONG, THE ONE THAT WILL GO WRONG FIRST WILL BE THE ONE THAT WILL DO THE MOST POSSIBLE DAMAGE.
WHERE YOU STAND ON AN ISSUE DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU SIT.
IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.
LEFT TO THEMSELVES, ALL THINGS GO FROM BAD TO WORSE.
IF YOU WORK ON A THING LONG ENOUGH TO IMPROVE IT, IT WILL BREAK.
MOTHER NATURE ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE HIDDEN FLAW.
M0THER NATURE IS A BITCH.
NATURE IS A MOTHER.
THE OTHER LINE MOVES FASTER.
ANYTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS EITHER ILLEGAL, IMMORAL OR FATTENING.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE ANYTHING FOOLPROOF BECAUSE FOOLS ARE SO INGENIOUS.
CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY, NOBODY WILL LIKE YOU.
BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP, UGLY GOES TO THE BONE.
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS THE HEADLAMP OF AN ONCOMING TRAIN.
IF YOU THINK EVERYTHING WILL BE OK, YOU HAVE OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
WHENEVER YOU SET OUT TO DO SOMETHING, SOMETHING ELSE MUST BE DONE FIRST.
DON'T MESS WITH MRS. MURPHY.
YOU ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.
A CONCLUSION IS THE PLACE WHERE YOU GET TIRED OF THINKING.
NEVER ARGUE WITH A FOOL, PEOPLE MIGHT NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
EAT ALIVE TOAD THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND NOTHING WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU THE REST OF THE DAY.
YOU CAN LEAD A HORTICULTURE, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HER THINK. IF NOBODY USES IT, THERE'S A REASON.
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA.
SPEND TIME CONFIRMING THE NEED AND THE NEED WILL DISAPPEAR.
AN IDEALIST IS ONE WHO, ON NOTICING THAT ROSES SMELL BETTER THAN A CABBAGE, CONCLUDES THAT THEY WILL ALSO MAKE BETTER SOUP.
TO ERR IS HUMAN, BUT TO REALLY FOUL THINGS UP REQUIRES A COMPUTER
NEVER ATTRIBUTE TO MALICE THAT WHICH IS ADEQUATELY EXPLAINED BY STUPIDITY
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS, MAYBE YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.
BLESSED ARE THE YOUNG, FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT THE NATIONAL DEBT.
CHICKEN LITTLE ONLY HAS TO BE RIGHT ONCE.
FRIENDS COME AND GO BUT ENEMIES ACCUMULATE.
BEWARE OF THE MAN WHO WORKS HARD TO LEARN SOMETHING, LEARNS IT, AND FINDS HIMSELF NO WISER THAN BEFORE. HE IS FULL OF MURDEROUS RESENTMENT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IGNORANT WITHOUT HAVING COME BY THEIR IGNORANCE THE HARD WAY.
HELP A MAN WHEN HE IS IN TROUBLE AND HE WILL REMEMBER YOU WHEN HE IS IN TROUBLE AGAIN.
MURPHY'S GOLDEN RULE:
WHOEVER HAS THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES.
MURPHY'S CONSTANT:
MATTER WILL BE DAMAGED IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO IT'S VALUE.
O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY:
MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST.
BOYLE'S LAW:
IF NOT CONTROLLED, WORK WILL FLOW TO THE COMPETENT MAN UNTIL HE SUBMERGES.
JACQUIN'S POSTULATE:
NO MAN'S LIFE, LIBERTY OR PROPERTY ARE SAFE WHILE THE LEGISLATURE IS IN SESSION.
KLIPSTEIN'S LAW OF SPECIFICATION:
IN SPECIFICATIONS, MURPHY'S LAW SUPERCEDES OHM'S.
HARRISON'S POSTULATE:
FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE CRITICISM.
ROBERTSON'S RULE:
A DIPLOMAT IS SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL YOU TO GO TO HELL AND YOU LOOK FORWARD TO THE TRIP.
GUMPERSON'S LAW:
THE PROBABILITY OF ANYTHING HAPPENING IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO IT'S DESIRABILITY.
GILB'S LAW OF UNRELIABILITY:
COMPUTERS ARE UNRELIABLE, BUT HUMANS ARE EVEN MORE UNRELIABLE.
ANY SYSTEM THAT DEPENDS ON HUMAN RELIABILITY, IS UNRELIABLE.
UNDETECTABLE ERRORS ARE INFINITE IN VARIETY, IN CONTRAST TO DETECTABLE ERRORS WHICH BY DEFINITION ARE LIMITED.
INVESTMENT IN RELIABILITY WILL INCREASE UNTIL IT EXCEEDS THE PROBABLE COST OF ERRORS, OR UNTIL SOMEONE INSISTS ON GETTING SOME USEFUL WORK DONE.
WYLER'S LAW:
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE MAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE TO DO IT HIMSELF.
THE SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE:
PEOPLE WHO LOVE SAUSAGE AND RESPECT THE LAW SHOULD NEVER WATCH EITHER ONE BEING MADE.
RALPH'S OBSERVATION:
IT IS A MISTAKE TO ALLOW ANY MECHANICAL OBJECT TO REALIZE YOU ARE IN A HURRY.
JOHNSON'S FIRST LAW:
WHEN A MECHANICAL DEVICE FAILS, IT WILL BE AT THE MOST INCONVENIENT TIME.
BALLANIE'S LAW:
HOW LONG A MINUTE IS DEPENDS ON WHICH SIDE OF THE BATHROOM DOOR YOU ARE ON.
LIEBERMAN'S LAW:
EVERYBODY LIES, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, SINCE NOBODY LISTENS.
WESTHEIMERS RULE:
TO ESTIMATE THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO A TASK, ESTIMATE THE TIME YOU THINK IT SHOULD TAKE, MULTIPLY BY 2. AND CHANGE THE UNIT OF MEASURE TO THE NEXT HIGHER UNIT.
GREEN'S LAW:
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT.
MANLY'S MAXIM:
LOGIC IS A SYSTEMATIC METHOD OF COMING TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION WITH CONFIDENCE.
EBLE'S COROLLARY:
COMPUTER PROGRAMS ARE COMPLETED, BUT RARELY FINISHED.
JEAN'S RULE:
THE CHEAPER SUBSTITUTE ISN'T.
TROUTMAN'S PROGRAMMING POSTULATES:
IF A TEST INSTALLATION FUNCTIONS PERFECTLY, ALL SUBSEQUENT SYSTEMS WILL MALFUNCTION.
NOT UNTIL A PROGRAM HAS BEEN IN PRODUCTION FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS WILL THE MOST HARMFUL ERROR BE DISCOVERED.
IF THE INPUT EDITOR HAS BEEN DESIGNED TO REJECT ALL BAD INPUT, AN INGENIOUS IDIOT WILL DISCOVER A METHOD TO GET DATA PAST IT.
PROFANITY IS THE ONE LANGUAGE ALL PROGRAMMERS KNOW BEST.
ANY PROGRAM, ONCE RUNNING, IS OBSOLETE.
SATTINGER'S LAW:
IT WORKS SETTER IF YOU PLUG IT IN.
FINSTER'S RULE:
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET.
GRIST'S COROLLARY:
THE HARDEST PART OF THE TASK IS DETERMINING WHERE THE HIDDEN POWER SWITCH IS.
FETT'S LAW OF THE LAB:
NEVER REPRODUCE A SUCCESSFUL EXPERIMENT.
THE CARDINAL CONUNDRUM:
AN OPTIMIST BELIEVES WE LIVE IN THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS. A PESSIMIST FEARS THIS IS TRUE.
MOER'S TRUISM:
THE TROUBLE WITH MOST JOBS IS THE JOB HOLDERS RESEMBLANCE TO BEING ONE OF A SLED DOG TEAM. NO ONE GETS A CHANGE Or SCENERY EXCEPT THE LEAD DOG.
CANNON'S COMMENT:
IF YOU TELL THE BOSS YOU ARE LATE FOR WORK BECAUSE YOU HAD A FLAT TIRE, THE NEXT MORNING YOU WILL F LAVE A FLAT TIRE.
COLE'S LAW:
THINLY SLICED CABBAGE.
NON-RECIPROCAL LAW OF EXPECTATIONS:
NEGATIVE EXPECTATIONS YIELD NEGATIVE RESULTS. POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS YIELD NEGATIVE RESULTS.
FARNSDICK'S COROLLARY:
AFTER THINGS HAVE GONE FROM BAD TO:'VORSE, THE CYCLE WILL REPEAT ITSELF.
GROSSMAN'S MISQUOTE:
COMPLEX PROBLEMS HAVE SIMPLE, EASY TO UNDERSTAND WRONG ANSWERS.
FIRST POSTULATE OF ISOMORPHISM:
THINGS EQUAL TO NOTHING ELSE ARE EQUAL TO EACH OTHER.
PERKIN'S POSTULATE:
THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY HIT.
CONWAY'S LAW:
IN EVERY ORGANIZATION THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ONE PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON. THIS PERSON MUST BE FIRED.
MACDONALD 'S SECOND LAW:
CONSULTANTS ARE MYSTICAL PEOPLE WHO ASK A COMPANY FOR A NUMBER AND GIVE (T BACK TO. THEM.
SHIRLEY'S LAW:
MOST PEOPLE DESERVE EACH OTHER. FORGIVE AND REMEMBER.
LAWS OF REVISION:
THE MORE INNOCUOUS THE MODIFICATION APPEARS TO BE, THE FURTHER ITS INFLUENCE WILL EXTEND AND THE MORE PLANS WILL HAVE TO BE REDRAWN.
IN SIMPLE CASES, PRESENTING ONE OBVIOUS RIGHT WAY VERSUS ONE OBVIOUS WRONG WAY, IT IS OFTEN WISER TO CHOOSE THE WRONG WAY, SO AS TO EXPEDITE SUBSEQUENT REVISION.
LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING:
ANY PROGRAM WILL EXPAND TO FILL AVAILABLE MEMORY.
PROGRAM COMPLEXITY GROWS UNTIL IT EXCEEDS THE CAPABILITIES OF THE PROGRAMMER WHO MUST MAINTAIN IT.
ADDING MANPOWER TO A LATE SOFTWARE PROJECT MAKES IT LATER.
THERE'S ALWAYS ONE MORE BUG.
NEVER PROGRAM AND DRINK BEER AT THE SAME TIME.
SHAW'S PRINCIPLE:
BUILD A SYSTEM THAT EVEN A FOOL CAN USE, AND ONLY A FOOL WILL WANT TO USE IT.
LAW OF RESEARCH:
ENOUGH RESEARCH WILL TEND TO SUPPORT YOUR THEORY.
MAIER'S LAW:
IF THE FACTS DO NOT CONFORM TO THE THEORY, THEY MUST BE DISPOSED OF.
KNIGHT'S LAW:
LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU ARE MAKING OTHER PLANS.
MAUGHAM'S THOUGHT:
ONLY A MEDIOCRE PERSON IS ALWAYS AT HIS BEST.
KRUEGER'S OBSERVATION:
A TAXPAYER IS SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE TO TAKE A CIVIL SERVICE EXAM IN ORDER TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT
HARVER'S LAW:
A DRUNKEN MAN'S WORDS ARE A SOBER MAN'S
THOUGHTS.
GIBB'S LAW:
INFINITY IS ONE LAWYER WAITING FOR ANOTHER.
RULE OF ACCURACY:
WHEN WORKING TOWARD THE SOLUTION OF A PROBLEM, IT IS ALWAYS HELPFUL IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER.
THE FIRST MYTH OF MANAGEMENT:
IT EXISTS.
WEINBERG'S LAW:
IF BUILDERS BUILT BUILDINGS THE WAY PROGRAMMERS WROTE PROGRAMS, THE FIRST WOODPECKER TO COME ALONG WOULD DESTROY CIVILIZATION.
KATZ'S LAW:
MEN AND WOMEN WILL ACT RATIONALLY WHEN ALL OTHER POSSIBILITIES HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTED.
CHURCHILL'S COMMENTARY ON MAN:
MAN WILL OCCASIONALLY STUMBLE OVER THE TRUTH, BUT MOST OF THE TIME HE WILL PICK HIMSELF UP AND CONTINUE ON.
THE ULTIMATE LAW:
ALL GENERAL STATEMENTS ARE FALSE.
JONE'S PRINCIPLE:
NEEDS ARE A FUNCTION OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE.
GERROLD'S FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH:
IT'S A GOOD THING MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS. WE COULDN'T STAND THE COMMERCIALS.
GERROLD'S LAW:
A LITTLE IGNORANCE CAN GO A LONG WAY.
MARK’S LAW:
IT IS NOT THE QUESTION IF, BUT WHEN A HARD DISK BREAKS
SOL’S LAW:
IT IS EASY TO MAKE SOMETHING COMPLEX, IT IS DIFFICULT TO MAKE IS REAL SIMPLE
ONLY THE MOST SIMPLE SOLUTIONS WORKS IN PRACTICE
ETHERNET ALWAYS WINS
(IT IS THE MOST SIMPLE SOLUTION)